01/04/10 and 01/05/10

"One has a great time rocking out to a band drunk but in the end can't remember if they were all that good. Same goes with girls. There were lots of them but it wasn't like other first kisses. They were fun and sloppy but lacked real feeling, lacked depth and nuances, lacked subtlety and restraint; some of the best things about kissing."*

It occurs to me that I haven't had a first kiss sober in a really long time. Maybe that should have been one of my goals for 2010, but I think I threw out kissing people with the whole bread basket of drinking less (don't throw away the bread with the basket, is that how that anecdote goes?). Not that it would work out though, my bed has been full lately with two cats and a very lonely roommate.

Monday night I tried to drink a Miller Lite that was left on a table while I was working. Totally disgusting. I didn't even finish it. Afterwork I drank a Jameson and gingerale and I think it may have made me feel a little extra warm for the bike ride home, but then I spent a few hours trying to fall asleep thinking about (what else?) kissing people.

Yesterday I broke my limit again. I had a Yuengling with Kaysie at the bar around 6, and then watched some action movies with 2 High Lifes. Then I had band practice, and when there's band practice there will be drinking, in this case 2 shots of some generic Whiskey and a Busch. I didn't get drunk though, which helped since it was our first practice. I know last time I was in a band I was drunk about the whole time, and I still feel uncomfortable when I think about our sometimes sloppy shows, and how dismissive I was toward other people when I was more concerned with entertaining myself. If I get a chance to be different in this band I will.

*from the zine Blurt No. 1